Major takeaways from The subtle art of not giving a fuck

Written by Kaitholil Storyboard. Last updated at 2022-07-02 13:44:06

So, I know what you’re thinking: The subtle art of not giving a fuck is a lousy name for a book. Fair enough. But the book itself? It’s incredible. 

I’ve found myself reading it repeatedly because of its succinct way of helping you see how you can lead healthier, more productive lives by simply not minding things that don’t matter. It is just another way of not caring about something that doesn’t matter. Simple concept, right? It is! And this book will show you how easy it is to apply its wisdom in your daily life. If you’re looking for a change or want something fun to read, this one is for you!

Most of us are too busy trying to achieve the perfect life, but we don’t realize that we’re missing out on some of life’s most incredible things. In his book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, Mark Manson explains what it means to lead a meaningful life and how you can achieve this through less stress and better decision-making. Here are the significant lessons from his book:

You will always suffer, so you might as well suffer for essential things.

There’s no way around it: you will suffer in life. No matter what you do, there will be pain and heartbreak on the horizon. It’s just a fact of existence. The only choice is whether or not you want to suffer for essential things or things that aren’t important at all.

It’s easy to say that “non-important” things should be ignored, but this isn’t always realistic. There will always be people who disappoint us and situations where we don’t get what we want. That doesn’t mean they’re not worth trying for anyway! If we focus on feeling bad about these failures instead of learning from them — or if we try something new without any hope of success — we’ll end up sad instead of happy. This is called the “sunk cost fallacy” by economists.

Not caring has a bad reputation.

It’s easy to see why not caring has such a bad reputation. In our culture, it’s synonymous with apathy, giving up, and being lazy—all things we don’t want to be associated with. But what if this is just another one of those “you can’t judge a book by its cover” situations?

Not caring means you’re able to let go of worries about what other people think about you and other people’s opinions in general. It means being comfortable with yourself when others don’t recognize your value or contributions or even see you as worthy. It means we can be happy for others when they succeed but not feel jealous or resentful if they seem more successful than we are. This doesn’t make us any less worthy than them—it only means our paths have been different so far!

“Everything is a choice.”

You and I are both in control of our lives, despite what others may say or do. In fact, we have complete control over every single aspect of our existence. We can be happy or sad, angry or calm, stressed out or relaxed, healthy or unhealthy. The choice is ours and ours alone!

“We feel pain no matter what we do.”

This is the second most crucial point of the book. I also feel most strongly about it, which is why I love this book.

You can’t control everything that happens to you, but you ultimately control how you respond.

It doesn’t matter what other people do—how we respond to their actions. We can choose whether or not to let it affect us and our life goals or let ourselves be dragged down by negativity and bitterness (or whatever else). We can decide whether we want to be happy or miserable, satisfied with life or dissatisfied with it—and there are consequences for every choice we make!

This point is enormous because it reminds me that other people may sometimes cause pain in my life. They don’t have any power over me unless I give them permission by allowing myself to feel hurt by them. It means that if something hurts me deeply enough that it negatively affects my quality of life (as few things ever will), then there are two options. 1)if this person does mean something special to us despite their flaws (maybe even because of them), maybe try harder to make things work out between y’all. 2) If being around them makes us miserable without fail every time, then maybe distance ourselves from this person until things get better. Because nothing worth keeping should ever come before our happiness.

“You get to choose your own problems.”

You can be the person who doesn’t have any problems, or you can be the person with a few issues that are good for you. You don’t have to sit around and wait for something terrible to happen, or even worse: just accept what life gives you without question. If anything is bothering you, it’s probably because of something inside yourself that comes from within your mind. There’s no need to dwell there! You can always choose not to care about things outside your control—besides, these things aren’t even real problems at all; they’re just “problems” in our minds!

That’s right: if something is bothering me, but I don’t want it to, I will make sure that doesn’t happen again by making better choices next time. It turns out that once we realize this truth about ourselves (and others), we also find out something else important: some people aren’t actually worth worrying about anymore either.

The author says this book isn’t for everyone. But he also says if you think about what he’s writing about for just 15 minutes every day for 30 days (that’s only 2 hours!), your life will change forever. He also says that if you read his book in bed at night before going to sleep instead of watching Netflix, your dreams will be more vivid and less scary!

You don’t have to feel anything you don’t want to feel.

You don’t have to feel anything you don’t want to feel.

You can choose what you want to feel, which is the world’s most important thing. Can you imagine being able to do that? You can choose whether or not you want to be happy, sad, or feeling good about yourself or not feeling good about yourself. It’s all under your control.

You get a say in what emotions you’re experiencing at any given moment—and no one else does! You decide how much of your power will create those feelings for yourself (positive or negative).

Taking action is easier when you take the proper steps for the right reasons.

If you’re taking action to avoid something, or if it’s motivated by fear, your efforts will negatively impact you. For example, if you’re trying to get out of debt because you don’t want to be poor, then chances are that your actions will be driven by the goal of avoiding poverty. The problem with this approach is obvious—if your actions are motivated by fear, then the best outcome would be for that fear to go away (which could happen anyway). However, as soon as there’s any positive change in your life — like a raise at work or getting into a better school — you’ll immediately stop doing whatever it was because now there’s no reason for the fear!

If you live by values you can’t or don’t want to defend, you will be miserable.

I greatly respect Mark Manson and his work, but I would argue that this statement is overly simplistic. If I say, “I value being kind to others,” and someone asks me why, what am I supposed to say? How would they know if my reasons are genuine or not?

We should do some things even if we don’t fully understand why. But there are also cases where it makes sense to define our own principles. Self-interest has little motivation to do something good without knowing how it leads us closer to our long-term goals and others who may benefit from our actions.

Don’t be so hard on yourself.

It’s important to be hard on yourself, but giving yourself some room is also essential. You’re more likely to set challenging and even impossible goals when self-critical. You might beat yourself up for not reaching them or for not taking action sooner. And when you do fail at something, don’t beat yourself up about it—it’ll just make the situation worse.

One of the main reasons we do so many things wrong is our desire for perfectionism and control over every part of life. We want everything perfect, but that’s just not possible! So stop worrying about all these things out of your control. Start focusing on what matters most. Being happy with who you are as an individual person instead of comparing yourself endlessly with others or trying desperately to achieve specific standards set by society at large.

You’re not selfish for taking care of yourself.

If you have a problem with this, you’re missing the point.

You are not selfish for wanting to be happy. You are not selfish for wanting to be healthy. You are not selfish for wanting to be productive and successful in your career.

It is better to face the reality of life than to deny it.

Denial is a dangerous thing. It’s when you refuse to deal with reality, and it can be even more damaging than the pain or suffering that’s causing the denial in the first place. For us to be happy, we need to face reality. We need to accept that life isn’t always going to be easy—that sometimes things will go wrong, people will hurt us, and there won’t always be a solution for every problem. But this is okay! We don’t have control over everything. But by accepting this fact, we can start working on ourselves instead of wasting time trying to change what happened yesterday or worrying about tomorrow.

It is better to have a life filled with hard work, challenges, and meaningful goals than one full of pleasure and comfort.

You need to take action and do something with your life. You don’t want to waste your time living a mediocre existence, so you need to start taking action and doing things that will move you toward your goals.

The book teaches us that it is better to have a life filled with hard work, challenges, and meaningful goals than one full of pleasure and comfort. If you want to be happy in life, then you must find what makes you happy first.

Unfortunately, pain is a part of life, and people who try to avoid all pain end up making themselves miserable in their attempt at pleasure.

The first lesson is that pain is a part of life, and people who try to avoid all pain end up making themselves miserable in their attempt at pleasure. This is because, as Manson writes: “Pain doesn’t just build character; it also gives us a renewed sense of purpose.” Pain can be used as an incentive for change. For example, suppose you’re overweight and want to get in shape. In that case, chances are you’ll need some motivation before you start exercising regularly or changing your diet. You could look at the number on the scale as negative (and most people do), but consider how great it would feel to run 5 miles without stopping!

You grow only when you suffer.

If you want to learn, grow and thrive, then you must be willing to suffer. The pain of failure is what makes you stronger. 

You will get nowhere in life if you are unwilling to endure hardships.

The ability to suffer through your problems rather than constantly avoiding them makes you more robust in the long run.

You can’t avoid suffering, but you can learn to suffer well.

“Suffering is a part of life” is one of those phrases that people in their 20s love to repeat as if it’s some kind of great wisdom, but the truth is that it’s simply a fact. And yes, it may be annoying or depressing at times. Still, we’d all be better off accepting this fact rather than pretending otherwise and then feeling guilty about not being happy when we’re not happy.

In fact, if anything good comes out of suffering and pain in your life (and it usually will), it makes us more efficient at dealing with future problems. Because now we know what works best for dealing with them in the future. As Mark Manson puts it: “The only way through pain is through.”

Suffering can make us more productive and efficient, not less so if we use it for the things that matter.

Suffering is a part of life. We can’t escape it, but we don’t have to suffer alone.

When you suffer, you are forced to look inside yourself and find the strength to help you overcome whatever challenges come your way. This can make us more productive and efficient, not less so, if we use it for the things that matter.

Suffering does not have to destroy us or leave us helplessly groveling on our knees if we learn from it, rise from it, and use it as motivation for the future.

The second lesson that the book taught me is the importance of suffering. As much as it sucks, suffering can make us stronger, more productive, and motivated. When we suffer from setbacks or losses, we tend to become more efficient in our actions because we don’t want to experience that pain again. We also become more productive without fear that failure will lead to worse results. Many great leaders like Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, and Nelson Mandela have used suffering as an effective tool throughout history. They used their experiences with oppression as motivation for change in society.

Remember: You can learn a lot from your failures, but you will never learn anything if you are always victorious!

Any activities or actions we do should relate to what matters in our lives because without those things, we will lead a life full of suffering, misery, and eventual failure.

The author says that our actions should relate to what matters in our lives. Because without those things, we will lead a life full of suffering, misery, and eventual failure.

This is where he brings up the idea that suffering can be used to make us more productive and efficient. It doesn’t have to destroy or leave us helplessly groveling on our knees, begging for mercy. He says that through suffering, we can become stronger than ever before.


Suffering is not a bad thing. In fact, it can be one of the best things in life if we learn how to use it for our benefit rather than letting it destroy us. Taking action, facing our problems, and dealing with them head-on will always be better than running away from them or hiding from reality. This may seem like common sense to most people who have already learned these lessons from their own experiences. Mark Manson’s book provides an easy way for anyone who needs guidance regarding implementing those lessons into their lives.

Knowledge is power, and this book is full of it. It’s an excellent tool for anyone who wants to improve their life, whether they’re trying to lose weight or write novels. I highly recommend reading this book if any of these points resonate with you!

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